Singapore mum of three says she paid for the family for 20 years while husband spent on pets
SINGAPORE: A woman who has been married for 20 years confessed on social media that her husband has “never contributed financially to the household” and instead spends his money on pets such as “hamster cages, parrots, fish, and dogs.”
In an anonymous post on the NUSWhispers Facebook page, she said she married him “for love” and truly believed they “would build a life together.” Over time, however, she found herself carrying all the financial responsibilities on her own.
“He has never contributed financially to our household, not for groceries, not for daily expenses, and not even for my personal needs. I have had to carry these burdens on my own,” she wrote.
“My children have grown to resent him. He doesn’t even pay for their school fees. I’ve had to pawn my wedding jewellery just to support them.”
Whenever she asks him for money, she claims he threatens divorce and pressures her to sell their home, leaving her worried that she and her children could end up homeless if he returns to his home country.
“I stayed in this marriage not out of love anymore, but out of fear, to keep a roof over our heads. We now sleep in separate beds. There is no intimacy, no companionship, no partnership.”
Despite holding a production job, she noted that her husband chooses “night shifts,” which makes her feel like he is avoiding spending time with her and their three children. She also said he never takes care of the pets he spends money on, so the responsibility always falls on her.
Moreover, she revealed that she used to work as an admin but quit after her husband said he did not trust her, effectively taking away her financial independence.
When she suggested that they try to build passive income, learn investing, or maybe start a small home business, he shut down every idea and insisted that they remain as they are, promising that “he would provide.”
Unfortunately, that promise was never fulfilled.
Adding another layer to the situation, she shared that she recently met a younger man whom she described as “charming and kind.”
“Now I feel torn. After all these years of sacrifice, I don’t know what is right anymore. Should I continue enduring this for the sake of stability, or should I finally choose myself and my children’s future?” she wrote, asking others for guidance.
At the same time, I want to rebuild my life and become financially independent. How can I start making passive income or learn investing to grow my money with little capital? What would you do if you were in my position?”
“Resolve your marriage issues separately first.”
In the comments, many netizens urged the woman to leave the marriage, but cautioned her against rushing into anything with the younger man. They encouraged her to prioritise herself, her children, and securing a stable income first.
“Ignore the guys; choose yourself and protect yourself and your children. Find a way to get a rental unit and let go of this cancerous past,” one wrote.
Another commented, “Divorce. But don’t go with the younger man. Divorce for your sanity. He doesn’t contribute to household expenses, nor does he take care of the children or you. And not allowing you to work?? He thinks what? Money falls from the sky? Leave him. Go back to work. Let him be. Let him go back to his home country. You legit don’t need him.”
A third added, “Resolve your marriage issues separately first and don’t get emotionally entangled with a third party. It could very well cause you more misery if it doesn’t turn out the way you think it would.”
In other news, a Singaporean man is asking netizens if “he should chase” the woman he loves after she ruined their relationship with her “retroactive jealousy.”
In his post on the r/sgdatingscene forum, the 21-year-old said they broke up a week ago because he could no longer tone down her intense jealousy over one of his former partners, his third girlfriend from Thailand.
This article (Singapore mum of three says she paid for the family for 20 years while husband spent on pets) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.