“Major red flag” – Young Singaporean advised against dating jobless party animal

SINGAPORE: A Singaporean in his 30s has been advised against dating an unemployed woman, after he sought feedback online on whether he should pursue a relationship with her despite his misgivings.

The 32-year-old man, who describes himself as a decent looking man with a “very comfortable paying career” submitted a post to the NUSWhispers forum, revealing that he met a 31-year-old woman recently and fell in love with her after their first date.

Describing the woman as “pretty, cute, honest, open minded, gentle,” the man added that she is very popular and has him so enamored that he “cannot wait to see her again after every date and look forward to all her messages.”

He, however, listed a few qualities that perhaps gives him second thoughts. He revealed that the woman is broke as she is currently unemployed and added that none of her previous jobs lasted longer than eight months. He said that the woman “only want to look for easy paying job,” and enjoys partying, hanging out with male friends, and living in the moment.

He said, “For the 3 dates that we had, it was crazily beautiful.”

While the man said he considers other women who share details of their dating history a “major red flag” he appreciates this woman doing so “as she is honest with me and can’t wait to share about herself with me.”

But the man continued to harbor doubts. He asked, “I also wonder why she is not interested in any of those guys hitting on her and what is her agenda of telling me. She want to let me know her market? Or want to make me jealous? Or she want to let me know I am a much better guy as compared to the rest. I want to believe that I’m better than most of them though.”

While the man appears head over heels with the woman, he is seeking advice online as to whether the woman truly wants something serious with him even though she has expressly told him she does.

The overwhelming majority of commenters online urged the man to end the relationship.

One commenter, Jenny, advised, “Better get out now or get burned,” while Facebook user Valerie Woo said in a top comment: “Yes she is looking for something serious. A serious simp.”

Many commenters said it was a “major red flag” that the woman is unemployed and does not have lasting jobs. One commenter, Facebook user Jack Lee, cautioned: “Bro 31 y.o. still wanna party and live in the moment only ah? Don’t waste time and help raise some other simp’s future wife la.”

Several others urged the man to respect himself while some noted that he mostly listed physical attributes in his list of pros, asking whether he can foresee a happy future with her after the initial attraction fades.

A small group of commenters, on the other hand, suggested the man could see where the relationship goes. One individual even said the man could test the woman and check her reaction after telling her he is going bankrupt, but others warned that this ploy is deceptive and manipulative.


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